Gods
by Takk-ansi
Summary: set between Specials & Extras: Tally is having a difficult time ridding herself of guilt and getting into her new lifestyle with David. Will she be able to finally have a normal life? Or will the past always weigh her down? TaxDa TaxZa Read the intro!
1. Intro

First things first: I have NOT read Extras, so I know nothing of the tally in that book if she's even in there. I think I heard of some sort of Youngblood cult which makes me think she's famous but anyway, please don't compare the events in this story to those in the future of extras. Because extras doesn't exist for me yet!

**The fun part of my story is: **

All of my titles are song names that correspond with their particular chapters. At the beginning of each one Ill tell you the artist so that you can listen if you want.

No questions about who its supposed to be talking about or is it So and so singing to whomever. Its for you to decide, for you to choose how the song is used and if you even want to use it.

At the end, if people want to know how I intended the song to work, Ill make a list and explain.

**Further song title fun!** At the end of each chapter I will give you the song title and artist for the NEXT chapter so that you can read it and speculate what you think it might means happens next. =D

if people actually review and like this story, I might take suggestions later on songs you guys think I should base the next chapter on =]

Last:

What you guys are reading is the first draft. There is hardly any uglies/pretties/specials slang in it, the grammar and punctuation are probably horrible. I'm sorry, but it's the way I write. The 1st draft is always just as it comes out of my head. Then I go back and I change what needs to be slang, what needs to be tweaked to make it fit better within the world I set it in and most of the time this is when I flesh it out more as well. Then I go back and fix all the technical stuff.

Just telling you so you know that I know =] its just that it's a long process and I'd much rather know if people already don't like it because then there's no reason to continue.

**Thanks Read and Review please!**

**Chapter 1. Lost – Michael Bublé**


	2. Lost

**I hope you read the intro so you know what you're getting into! Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy this even though its nowhere close to being a final draft!**

**Reminder: **All the titles are song names! They're there if you want to take a listen. Also, at the end I'll give you the song title of the next chapter so you may be able to get an idea of whats coming... it depends on how you interpret the song ;D

**Disclaimer: The Uglies world belongs to Scott Westerfeld. I'm not making any money off this, I'm writing it because the Specials ending didn't settle well with me!**

**WARNING: THERE IS ANGST. LOTS IN THIS CHAPTER.**

**Chapter One Song: Lost by Michael Buble**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! How else will I know if you want more? =]**

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Tally watched as the firelight flickered, making shadows over the trees. David had left a few days ago to check on some cities advancement into the wild. They hadn't gotten very far but they could, and that was a special circumstance. They took turns checking on the cities, Tally normally making the longer trips since she needed less sleep and food. Though with David to help her, Tally had been sleeping a lot more than normal. A lot more than she had in any of her days, Ugly, Pretty, Special. Sleep was the only way to make her mind stop working. Stop running through every mistake she had ever made, every small detail that had but one factor been changed… her life could've been perfect. Not this isolated mess it had become.

She could still hear Shay and the others when she and David moved camp close enough to Diego, they all still had their skintennas, probably hoping they could find Tally one day with them. Tally had downloaded software to rid hers of its tracking beacon though, so none of them would know when she was near. It had to be that way, she couldn't ruin anything else, anymore lives.

A few months ago she and David had passed Diego to make sure they weren't doing to much more clear-cutting and Tally had been relieved to hear the cutters still talking through their network. Tally had listened in, a sad smile on her face the whole time. They were all doing so well without her. Shay and Fausto were obviously more than friends, but apparently didn't want to admit it to each other or anyone else. Tally could pick it up just from the way they talked to each other but then she WAS still special. Peris had gotten new surge that week and they were all planning a long trip to another city to deliver more of Maddy's cure. Happy normal lives.

She longed to be with them, laughing like that, traveling in their group. But she knew she couldn't, her heart pained at the memories of why. The fire blurred in her vision, the shadows encroaching on all sides. Her eyes burned with unshed tears as she remembered the last time she had seen fire outside of their camp.

Everywhere. It had been everywhere outside. Brilliant and beautiful against the dark smoke sky. But she had been focused on the only person in the room. His body weak and discoloured, hooked to too many tubes, a helmet of life support covering his ink dyed hair. She remembered the exact pace his heart had been beating, how many millimeters his lungs expanded with every gust of oxygen pumped into them. There had been a faint line between his high eyebrows, as if in his unconsciousness he had somehow frowned in confusion. His brow always crinkled right there when he was confused…

The blame went round in circles. She could never quite grasp onto someone to blame, the pain of his absence always took over when she thought about it. Shay had been the one to pull the stunt at the armory, the stunt that ignited the war. Tally had agreed to the stunt because she wanted Zane special, cured. Zane had been the one to split the pills, ending up with the wrong one. Tally had been the one who couldn't accept him as he was. Around and around it went. Tally wished harder than ever that she had just kept the transmitter Cable had given her so long ago. Had never betrayed the smoke. Because at least then, never having met him, Zane would still exist.

As always, the thought of never telling him she loved him came back. Never on their tricks, never on their dates, never in his bed, never in all the time they shared identically cuffed… not even at his bedside, paralyzed and dying. There wasn't a day that went by that Tally didn't think it at least a hundred times, hoping he heard her in the afterlife. Hoping that somehow he knew she shared the feeling.

_I love you I love you I love you I love you_

She repeated the mantra for minutes at a time, never saying it out loud. She didn't think she could handle saying it out loud. It would make his absence so much more real.

Two tears slid down her face and into her mouth, the taste bringing on another few tears. They tasted of salt like the sea air which reminded her of that last horrific experience on the cliffs by the sea… with him. The wonderful feeling of his mouth on hers, the bliss of his fingertips on her skin… the revulsion at the slight tremble she'd felt. No. It didn't matter who had did what, it was at that point that he had began to hate himself, at that point that he decided to try and fix it…for her. The whole reason he had been in that hospital bed during the attack, to be right in her special eyes. If it had been the hospital in her city… he would've been a bubble head, but he would've been fine and curable. Tally squeezed her eyes shut.

It really was all her fault.

"_Listen, I'll be fine. And no matter what happens, I'm glad we took the pills"_ It seemed like forever since he'd said that. Right before Dr. Cable had told her about becoming special. Had she had time to talk to him before he died, she knew he would've regretted it. Her mind was so deep in thought, so out of reality that even her special senses hadn't picked up a hint that David had returned. His hand was warm on shoulder and the moment she felt it her reflexes kicked in and she shot upward and away. David chuckled, he was clean shaven which meant that he had made it to the city. Tally relaxed with a sigh and she moved back to her spot and sunk back down to the ground.

"I thought you'd be sleeping." He said simply, dropping his bag on the ground and not bothering to unpack.

"I wish I were." She replied softly.

"Thinking to much again?"

She nodded and wiped the wetness from her face. She saw from her peripheral vision, his imperfect eyebrow raise. He knew what the tears meant, the tears only came from one reason. It was his turn to sigh as he scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"It will take a while Tally, but time will fix it."

She pulled her knees to her chest and shook her head.

"It won't. Not this time, David." Her face was perfectly composed, no signs of being upset at all. Specials couldn't show weakness and even though she had rewired herself there were some things about being special that Tally liked to keep. No red rimmed eyes, no stuffy nose or soggy voice. She stayed crisp and icy, the only proof of anything had just been wiped clean. But Tally did hate that she couldn't cry sometimes, the guilt and hate and sadness that welled up inside her was sometimes to much to bear, but it could only swell and grow and churn, it had no outlet for release. Sometimes she wished she could just sob uncontrollably for days, just to let it all out and maybe get past it… but that was out of the question. And besides, David needed her to be tough as much as she needed it herself. She heaved a sigh and rested her head on David's shoulder.

"No. I'm wrong, you're right. Everything will be alright in time." She smiled gratefully at him getting a big grin in return. He rubbed her arm, his hands were rough but smelled of soap. She took it in her own and ran her fingertips over the rough patches. Calluses, he'd called them. Pretties didn't get them, Uglies very rarely, not enough to know their specific name.

His fingers caught hers as she was circling one at the top of his palm and stared at their intertwined fingers. His skin was darker and slightly uneven, hers was perfect. Her special eyes could see it but her rewired brain didn't care. Tally turned to ask David a question but the thought died on her tongue. His eyes were intense with emotion, surely he had no idea she could see right through him… or maybe he wanted her to know. She swallowed a ball that had formed in her throat and quickly untangled their fingers, sliding around to face him so they wouldn't be touching.

His feelings were nothing to new to her. He had never changed, she had turned pretty and forgotten David. They'd had that conversation long before they journeyed into the wild together. The only thing she hadn't explained was that she hadn't actually forgotten him. She remembered him the entire time, just not all the bits of it… and even when she had remembered those bits, Zane had erased them. She'd fallen for Zane knowing full well what she and David had had. She tried to convince herself that she had thought he'd abandoned her, when Croy brought the cure instead of her 'knight'… but it hadn't worked. Zane was just so much more and David knew that.

She looked at him with a small smile, he looked at her a bit sheepishly. He knew she'd seen his feelings, that they had been all over his face.

"David," Tally asked, "do you know someone in the city you visited? You smell like soap and you've shaved."

He laughed, relieved that Tally wasn't going to hound him about what had just happened.

"Nah, but it isn't hard to sneak into a dorm and steal a few things." She grinned and nodded.

"So how were they? Did they do anymore damage?"

He shook his head as he kicked off his boots and unrolled the thin mat they both used for sleeping.

"They have to build a new dorm for" he cringed at the words they used to classify, "uglies, and they needed to expand the middle pretty suburbs. With this new population law allowing more than one kid to parents there's been quite the addition. They're just preparing for it. I left the notes."

Tally grinned at the thought of lots of new littlies as he pulled his shirt off and fell onto the mat. He looked exhausted. They had worked out a system, to avoid people finding out who they were unless absolutely necessary, they left them notes. David knew how to write so he made them and they both carried them when they checked on the cities, if the cities were getting dangerously close to taking out to much nature (in their own opinions as they had nothing to really base it off) they let them know.

_Beyond here and this becomes a special circumstance._

Very simple, it could be an innocent warning or a threatening one. It was up to the workers that found them to decide which. Unfortunately, Tally was sure her name had gotten around maybe David's too. She had been all over the media before she'd restricted herself to the wild. Probably every city knew exactly who was leaving the notes, how could they not? The special circumstances scandal had been everywhere, she even remembered Dr. Cable speaking to the cameras once.

"Good, should I log it so we know its one to watch? Or are you not worried?"

He balled his shirt and jacket up into a makeshift pillow looked over at Tally. Even in the dying firelight she could see the look in his eyes, it was a mix of things. He wanted to say something but he didn't, he wanted her so much but he couldn't have her. They stared at each other for a few intense seconds. David broken the gaze by looking down to rearrange his pillow.

"Log it, just make a not that its not top priority." He laid his head down and closed his eyes. Tally felt the sharp ping of guilt race through her again as it so often did. But she ignored it best she could and pulled up her eyescreen. Navigating the menu with eye-mouse clicks she found the folder with notes in it. Speaking very softly, in case David had fallen asleep already, she told it their location and details on the cities advancements along with it not being a large threat. Crawling onto her own mat she glanced across the dead fire at David. She could see in the dark and she could see his eyes were still open. He was breathing steadily to try and fool her, she watched him for a long time before deciding to let it go and get some sleep herself.

With a sigh she rolled over, away from David, and closed her eyes. They would have to start traveling when she woke, and it would be a long trip this time. She curled up into a comfortable position and drifted off slowly, the last thought in her mind turning into a wonderful, brutally painful dream.

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**REVIEW PLEASE!  
Its the only way I'll know to keep updating!**

**I hope that wasn't _too_ angsty for you guys, if so let me know!**

**Chapter Two: Use Somebody by Kings of Leon  
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	3. Use Somebody pt 1

Why hello there again! Terribly sorry this took so long, I had college graduation and packing to move out at the end of the month!

And I wanted to wait until I had both parts completed to post them so I wasn't gipping anyone!

I can't lie, part one is pretty boring in my opinion, but it was needed to get to part two and eventually chapter 3.

hopefully not everyone will find it that way, i think its mostly because I'm not to fond of David. Anyway, ONWARD!

**Reminder: **All the titles are song names! They're there if you want to take a listen. Also, at the end I'll give you the song title of the next chapter so you may be able to get an idea of whats coming... it depends on how you interpret the song ;D

**Disclaimer: The Uglies world belongs to Scott Westerfeld. I'm not making any money off this, I'm writing it because the Specials ending didn't settle well with me!**

**Chapter Two Song: Use Somebody by Kings of Leon  
**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! How else will I know if you want more? =]**

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**PART 1.**

Tally cruised along the treetops as fast as she could without burning out her fans. She wasn't getting to far from David who was staying close to the ground trying to read an old Rusty map to determine where the other cities were. Tally's job was to find a nice place to camp when they needed to stop.

She'd been right when she thought the trip would be long. There was nothing but trees as far as the eye could see, and her eyes could see pretty damn far. She knew the world was big but being out in it and actually seeing it… it was overwhelming. She had to wonder how the Rusties could use up so much land. And for what? How had they let themselves get so out of control? She and David ran into rusty ruins every so often, they ranged in size, large cities like the ones she and Shay had ventured to, small ones with only dirty rotting wooden ruins left and all sizes in between.

It had been weeks since she had logged the last city, weeks since the dream that had woken her so violently. She and David had barely spoken since then. She was to embarrassed, felt to guilty, to look him in the eye let alone say anything. Several times they'd made camp and Tally had gone directly to sleep, making sure to wake before him, avoiding him as much as she could.

The dream had filled her with blissful happiness, Zane had opened his eyes in the hospital, had wrapped his thin pale fingers around her hand. Had told her there was no need to be sad, that he would be fine. The dream depicted their lives together, up until… he suddenly disappeared. Dream Tally had turned around with a smile to tell him again that she loved him, but he was gone… and Dream Tally had realized that it was just that, a dream, and none of it had happened. Dream Tally had crashed back down into Real Tally, and Real Tally had woken, gasping for breath, his name with each one, and in David's arms.

She hadn't pulled away, she pushed herself closer, let him wrap her up in his arms. He said she'd been trembling but that was impossible. Specials didn't tremble, didn't get the shakes. She had let him comfort her, stoke her hair as he muttered comforting nothings to her and she had clung so needingly to him. She had woken in his arms and hadn't looked him in the eye since. Her tears had been less shame-making than that whole scene. They only talked in short sentences when they had to, otherwise it wasn't more than two words.

Tally looked down on some old ruins that had been covered by creeping plants, it was hardly visible from the air but David would see it and hopefully be able to figure out where they were and where they were headed.

As she glided her hover board around them and pushed it further northeast, her internal compass told her, she wondered why she even cared that she'd let David comfort her. No doubt he'd enjoyed it, he'd enjoy anything that might help make her get over Zane, and she hadn't minded either. His arms had felt good around her, solid and safe. They had actually made her feel like everything was all right for a while… was that wrong? Was it wrong? Was it terrible that she wanted to feel better, to forget all the bad in her past and start over with new?

She thought so. How could forgetting the person you betrayed so ultimately be a good thing? If she could just numb everything, find a way to enjoy life without being brought down by all her past mistakes, she could make this into something bearable. Looking down on the green covered ruins and the sun setting in the west, Tally Youngblood decided to finally try.

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Their camp was several kilometers back into the thick forest; the city lay ahead of her. She could see and hear the clear cutting from where she was. The sound of metal blades screeching through the splintery skin of trees sent chills down her spine. She wondered if she could get an answer out of someone or if David would have to come.

Slowly she slunk around towards the noise, looking for anyone standing close. It took her several minutes to spot someone and several more waiting for him to get close enough to grab.

She tensed herself, staying completely still and waited for the right time to pounce.

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Strolling back into camp, her nose wrinkling at the smell of SpagBol, she dropped herself down onto her mat. David looked at her expectantly, his mouth full.

She shrugged, "Nothing. They're only taking out about three metres all around to add some storage units."

David's eyes narrowed as he swallowed, "Did you scare anyone?"

Tally laughed, "No, not in the way you're thinking! No one saw me, I grabbed the guy from behind and was gone before he could turn back to look." David nodded in approval.

"Very good Tally, here I got a purifier ready for you." He pushed it towards her and threw her a packet of food. She glanced at the label and smiled with relief. It wasn't SpagBol. David took another bite and began talking with his mouth full about how far they'd come and where they should go next and how he'd finally figured out the map. Tally threw in her comments but mostly just let him talk and explain. She was just happy she'd gotten them back on speaking terms. The awkward silence had been terrible.

Her purifier pinged and she opened it, not even waiting for it to cool before taking a large bite. She hadn't eaten in a few days, of course she could handle that but it didn't make her any less hungry. The pair of them fell into quiet as they both ate, David probably mapping out their course in his head, Tally inwardly bouncing at how in the weeks since their silent spell they had opened up and began to fix things. They'd agreed upon a friends only relationship based on trust and honesty. They had told each other everything there was to tell, no secrets. They had figured that, if not for forever, they'd at least be spending years with just each other so they had probably get used to it.

There was nothing weird about double riding on one hoverboard to give the other a rest, nothing weird about pushing their mats closer and talking into the night. Nothing weird in the way David's hands touched hers as he taught her to write and nothing weird in the excited hugs she gave him when she did it right. No, they had fixed pretty much everything after the horrible silence that had followed Tallys dream.

For the first time since she and Peris were uglies, pulling tricks together and staring at new pretty town, before he'd gotten the operation without her… Tally's life was beginning to feel better and she didn't feel guilty about it.

Four months. That's how long the entire trip had taken them. They had ran out of pre-packaged city food not even halfway through it and Tally and David both had to resort to pre-rusty days and hunt for their own.

Tally wasn't to fond of it but David had made something he called 'jerky' that was particularly good and excellent for long trips. The city they had spent so much time trying to get to hadn't even done any damage, not one tree had been felled. Both of them had been only slightly annoyed that they'd traveled so far for nothing, neither could really complain that the city was doing good though.

Because of the long trip David had suggested that they take a fews days to themselves before the journey back. They would be traveling southeast and hitting two other cities before returning to their _home_, which was really just the wooded area around Diego. It was a wonderful idea because special or not Tally did wear down eventually. The place they were in was perfect for a long rest as well, it was uphill from a river and in a very animal populated place if they needed to hunt.

Tally pulled her mat to an area where the midday sun shown directly through a hole in the spotted canopy above them, the spread was wide enough to touch her entire body. Once it was positioned just right she stretched out on it with a smile. The sun warmed her all over and she let her tense muscles relax. She could hear David rustling around with things and his heavy footfalls as he walked from one side of their camp to the other. Normally David's steps were as quiet as her own, but Tally had found that when she relaxed even her already heightened special senses sharpened more. She could hear small rodents scurrying in the underbrush from very far distances, the thrum of a billion tiny legs churning dirt as they made their way. Her favourite to listen to was the pillowy 'woof' of powerful wings in the air, hawks mostly, but even small birds made a similar noise.

"Tally." His voice was harsh and extremely loud. She jerked slightly and sat bolt upright to stare at him. He unconsciously took a step back and cleared his throat.

"I'm gonna go see if I can't get some travel food from that city okay?"

She nodded and laid back down, "I'll be right here when you get back. Don't take to long in there though, it'll be dark before you get done and I don't want you walking back in the dark."

David rolled his eyes and hoisted his bag onto his shoulder, "Yes _MOM_" He chuckled and began on his way. Tally snorted and rolled over to warm her back.

When she woke up the sun was only a little ways further west than it had been when she'd fallen asleep. She sighed in frustration and sat up. David wasn't back yet and she had wanted to get a good sleep to catch up for all she missed. Tally flexed her arms and glanced around. Everything was sharp and clear, icy. She felt completely energized, renewed, like a computer after a reboot. It was weird, she never felt so great after such a short nap.

Pushing the thought aside she noticed that all of Davids clothes were gone, his travel bag empty. Either something had come along while she was sleeping, or he had come back and was most likely off washing them. But there was no way he could've made it to the city and back in such a little time.

Tally checked her own bag but everything was still there. Confused she decided to check the river just in case so she yanked her bag from the ground and made her way, very cautiously, towards the river.

Her eyes caught broken branches to high for any of the animals to have done, David had to have come through. Still careful, Tally ducked leaves and used her special eyesight as best she could. She heard him before she saw him and relaxed.

He was humming, interrupted by the occasional splash of water. Tally slunk toward him, quieter than anything else around them and peeked from behind a tree. His back was to her, how lucky. With a sly grin, and as silent as air, she leapt at him. His humming stopped and he only got a quarter of a turn towards her before she hit him, thrusting his head underwater and laughing hysterically.

David popped back up gasping and glaring. Tally leaned on the embankment as she giggled.

"That wasn't funny! You scared that hell outta me!" Tally waved him off,

"I couldn't help it! You wouldn't've passed it up either." She composed herself and looked back at him, "What are you doing here anyway? I thought you were going to the city for some travel packets?"

She saw his face flicker concern before going neutral… her eyebrows drew together.

"Ah, Tally." He pushed his wet mess of hair out of his face, "I did go get the food." She was about to interrupt but he held up a finger and finished, "_Yesterday_. You've been asleep for over twenty-four hours."

She stared at him. That was impossible! Specials didn't even need sleep! He must've seen her thoughts on her face because he patted her shoulder and shook his head.

"You just must've needed to get away from the world for a bit. Everyone does… even Specials."

She nodded slowly, it wasn't such a big deal was it? Looking up at David with a smile she pushed his hand off and splashed him in the face igniting a water war.

As she pretended to let him win, because really there was no way a normal human could beat a special, she let her hours of sleep float in her mind.

She was still Special there was no denying that. Not with her sense and reflexes the way they were. But what if she was changing… again. Like she had when she was pretty? Thoughts of the last time she'd seen Dr. Cable mingled with the others. What if she was making herself Ugly again? _Normal_.

The thought didn't bother her at all.

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**Thank you for the reviews! **

**Keep em coming and I'll keep writing!**

**Hope that wasn't to boring~**

**3**

**go on to part two!  
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	4. Use Somebody pt 2

Heres part 2, but first a

**WARNING: There is sexual themes in this chapter, if this makes you uncomfortable please dont read it or skip past it, it will be marked.**

**Reminder: **All the titles are song names! They're there if you want to take a listen. Also, at the end I'll give you the song title of the next chapter so you may be able to get an idea of whats coming... it depends on how you interpret the song ;D

**Disclaimer: The Uglies world belongs to Scott Westerfeld. I'm not making any money off this, I'm writing it because the Specials ending didn't settle well with me!**

**Chapter Two Song: Use Somebody by Kings of Leon  
**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

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**PART 2.**

Everything had gotten better since she'd decided that being rewired wasn't such a bad thing. David wasn't ugly to her anymore yet her senses and reflexes stayed sharp, yes she thought it was perfect exactly how she was.

She pushed her hoverboard faster, grinning in the wind that streamed her hair straight back. David was to her right and slightly further back, he scanned the terrain as they rode, he always did. But since they were in no hurry and had no cities to check up on in the path back Tally swerved lazily left and right, her arms out. She let herself fall and ride back up on particularly large gusts of wind.

She was still playing petal when she spotted their next city mark in the distance and the ocean a little ways behind it.

"Finally!" she exclaimed, "I was getting hungry." She yelled it loud enough against their speed so David could hear and he nodded with a smile himself. There was that look in his eye again but Tally ignored it. She didn't want to get back into an awkward phase again.

As they neared the outskirts Tally could see the construction sites surrounding the city, they hadn't started clear-cutting anything but there were several new spindly party towers in what she could only assume was their Pretty Section. It must be to compensate for the increase of population, like most other cities. That had to mean they were building more ugly dorms as well.

With an exasperated sigh Tally dropped from the sky and skimmed the tops of the trees, looking back at David who'd followed she gave a thumbs up.

"Back to work." She shouted. But before she could go to the city to make sure they weren't ripping up the earth for all that metal, they needed to set up camp and she personally needed some food.

Staying above the trees at a slower pace she let David dip down below them to find a flat surface to sleep on and it wasn't long, it never was, he was great at those kinds of things. He popped back up and signaled her down before disappearing again. She followed this time and, as always, soaked up the beauty of the forest. It was jungle-like almost, unbelievably green and overgrown. Vines hung from the trees and the air below the canopy was much more humid than above. It only took a few moments on the ground before David began to sweat. Tally didn't sweat and her body was almost the perfect temperature. She almost felt bad for him.

Rolling out her mat she began to unpack her things, searching for her food. She wanted to eat and get over to check out the city before nightfall. She stopped and stared at David as he began putting the tent together, he must've sensed her gaze because he turned to stare back.

"I'm not sure about the climate and weather and such." He explained knowing what she was wondering. He normally only brought the tent out when it was raining or particularly cold so it was obvious why she was confused. There hadn't been any clouds in the sky and it was hot. She continued to stare in question. David chuckled.

"The temperature might drop at night, I'm just taking precautions." She smiled in thanks and went back to unpacking her own things, glad she didn't have to worry about stuff like that.

"Tally…" he said just as she pulled her water purifier out.

"Yeah?" she answered, making a face as she emptied it. She must have forgotten that last time.

"Uh, I was thinking…" Her head snapped to look at him, she could hear it in his voice, he wanted to have a serious talk, she just hoped it wasn't about what they'd already put behind them. He swallowed audibly before continuing, and she couldn't tell if what he said was what he had been about to say before her glare. She continued making food as he spoke.

"You know, we should really think about travel options. We need to get to the rest of the world… we can't do that on hover boards. I was uhh, thinking that when we got back to Diego you could ask the Cutters to help you out."

Regardless of what he had been about to say, if anything different at all, he brought up a good point. Hover boards were slow and they couldn't leave the continent.

"You're right. I suppose it would be a good idea. How about if I send Shay a ping when I head to that city? She can have something happening by the time we get there. I can also check the feeds for any news on the expansion."

He grinned and nodded. "Perfect, do you need me for anything?"

Her purifier pinged and she shook her head, "Nope! I think I'll be fine." She took a large bite of her noodles and sat down to finish. She ate as David continued with the tent, he'd never taught her how to use it or she would help. Her tents had always been self-constructing.

It looked like a dangerous process, bending bars that looked like they would snap back at you. What if it hit you in the eye? She shrugged, he knew what he was doing, and got up to put away her purifier and grab her board.

"I'll be back after dark, make sure the fire's going." He nodded, knowing that was her only identifier to get back to camp and began laying out the other hover boards to recharge.

Tally rose above the trees and made her way towards the towering buildings on the horizon, the smell of sea salt reminding her of a lot. She never got tired of the wild, she was glad of her decision to protect the world every single day. Though she sometimes did wonder what life would've been like had it been some other ugly who'd stumbled on the world's secrets. She could be living normal, not ugly or pretty or special. However she wanted to, everything her own choice. Though in the end everything had been her choice…

She emptied her mind and flew towards the side of the city she couldn't see in hopes of finding that they hadn't expanded all around… they had. Not bad, no clear cutting or anything like that, but they were building more ugly dorms. Tally was torn on whether to warn them or let them be. It didn't seem that they were planning on expanding more anytime soon… she sighed and decided to figure it out after she checked the feeds and got a hold of Shay.

Sneaking into a construction site she found a place to hide her hoverboard and she turned on her skintenna, the feeds coming to her in snatches blurring in the corner of her eyescreen, the audio nothing but static. She frowned and wondered why the buildings were so far from the cities grid, what were they going to do without the interface out here. Did they plan on extending the grid _after_ the buildings were built? That seemed a backwards way to do it… how would the hoverstructs lift it without a grid?

Annoyed, she made her way around large hiding places towards the center of the city, checking the feeds with her eyes every now and then. She wondered if she had a good enough signal to send a ping, but decided against trying until she knew it would go through.

The signal grew steadily as she walked and as she reached the outskirts of the cities suburbs it focused completely. She immediately opened up a blank message and addressed it to Shay, speaking her message while keeping an eye on the flickering screen in the corner.

"Shay, David's had an icy idea but we need your help big time. We're gonna need you to talk to Diego's committee and see if you cant get us a much faster… way…" He sentence was cut short by an image on the feeds, her eyes stayed glued to it while her subconscious twitched her finger and made it larger.

Her entire vision was blinded by it, she stared in shock unable to move or process a thought. Everything she'd worked hard for, everything she'd spent so much time on getting right… it all toppled around her and for a moment she wished she still had the special wiring. The picture had been taken long before she'd met him, destroyed him. And once again the emotions that over took her forced her special eyes to water.

"Zane…" She wanted to reach out and touch him, but it was only a picture. She snapped out of her shock long enough to wonder why on earth they were still showing his picture on feeds and read the headline.

_**Diego War Victims?**_

She turned off her skintenna and eyescreen, ignoring the rest of the article and unable to find words at how grateful she was she'd had the feed muted and that they hadn't played a video or something. Was it some sort of anniversary? Had he been dead for a remarkable amount of time?

Tally sank to the ground and wrapped her arms around her knees, shaking just like he used to. It was hours before she decided to go back to David, luckily even though she could actually cry, her special body kept from showing any outward signs of it. No puffy cheeks or red eyes.

It was a slow ride back, she was in no hurry, and she could see the campfire with her infrared from extremely far. Her head was spinning so fast with thoughts she could feel it in her entire body. It weighed down and made her feel as if she were physically spinning.

Why was she trying to hard to be someone she wasn't when in the end it didn't matter anyway? Why was she trying to force herself over something she obviously wasn't ready to get over yet? Maybe her whole 'manifesto' had been an irrational decision. Maybe she _needed_ to back to the cities and just take some time to herself. Maybe the doctors could erase her most horrible mistake from her mind… but did she want it erased?

She sighed, wishing someone could make it all go away for a while.

Tally landed a ways from the camp and noticed that it was still warm, the heat trapped in the plants from the day was rising and keeping it still warmer than above the trees. She put her hoverboard up for recharging once she got to camp knowing David would probably sleep through the day. Even though it was still warm, he must've been paranoid about rain because he wasn't out on the ground. He had to have taken to the tent.

She plopped down and crossed her legs, no intentions of sleeping for fear of what dreams she may have. She let her eyes unfocus on the bugs moving through the dirt, drawing lines across her blurred vision. Her head snapped up, a natural reflex, when she heard an odd rustle. But David's head popped out of the tent a moment later a look of great relief on his face.

"Tally!" Sleep still clouded his voice and his eyes were heavy with it. But he rubbed them as he continued, "What took you so long! I was beginning to get worried and then I couldn't decide _why_ I was getting worried since youre… well you. But I was going to come look and…" She cut him off.

"I'm fine. I didn't manage to do the things I was supposed to," she lowered her gaze at his questioning look, "but I'll explain later. Let's just call it a night…"

He stared at her for a long while, she could feel his stare and eventually looked back up to him. She caught his expression, one that she'd seen many times from him but mixed with concern. It reminded her of back when she was ugly and in the smoke.

She could only smile apologetically. He smiled back, obviously knowing something was up, but retreated back into his tent with a simple "Night."

* * *

**warning: sexual themes and content start here.**

Staring into the tent she could see his form rolling over on his mat, falling into a comfortable sleeping position. Her mind, exhausted and confused, dredged up an old conversation with Shay and combined it with her earlier thoughts.

She was selfish. Why was she trying to change who she was? A sudden decision pulled her from her seat and took her silently to the tent opening. She knelt down and looked at David, his back to her on his side. She wasn't sure what she was doing, what she was thinking but neither did she care. She needed someone to make it all go away and her answer was right in front of her.

He must've sensed her presence because he propped himself on one elbow and looked over his shoulder at her.

"What is it Tally?" thunder rumbled in the distance, perhaps it would rain after all. Tally reached out to cup her hand around David's jaw, she ran her thumb over his cheek and smiled a little at how rough it was from days of not shaving.

His eyebrows were drawn in confusion as he pulled him self around to face her but they lifted as she trailed her fingers down the edge of his jaw and neck. David had no idea what had happened in that city but he was grateful for it. Somewhere in the back of his mind he felt it was wrong, all wrong, but regardless of the fact that he knew he would somehow regret it in the morning he pulled himself up and took Tally's hand, intertwining their fingers.

Their eyes locked for a millisecond and David put his lips to hers. She didn't pull away, she didn't push him away, she opened her mouth to him. Excited as he was it scared him a little, after all the work she'd put into stopping something like this from happening she was just suddenly okay with it?

He was the one to pull away and look her in the eye.

"Tally…?" She untangled their fingers and smiled… seductively? They found their way to the bottom of his shirt and he watched, still bewildered at what was happening, as she wrapped her arms up and around his back. She kissed him again quickly before leaning back to pull his shirt completely off.

She could see it in his face when he decided not to care about what was bothering her and pushed herself on him harder. He was more than happy to oblige and fell backward, pulling her on top of him their mouths never parting.

Straddling him Tally sat up to pull her own shirt off, taking a few moments to trace all of David's visible muscles with her fingertips. Grinning he sat up and wrapped his arms around her to keep her in his lap. He kissed his way down her neck and collarbone, his hands copying her previous movements as he trailed her curves.

" I wish I had gotten to see this before your operation." He said between kisses, "I bet it would've been just as beautiful."

Tally pulled his chin up and looked him in the eye, she wanted to say thank you but she couldn't bring herself to do anything but stare. He raised his eyebrows and she closed the distance between their faces maneuvering herself around the reach his pants, but he pushed her back and pulled them off himself before hovering over her bottom half to remove hers as well. She lifted her hips, helping him as lightning flashed outside.

The rain pounded on the tent as David pulled her to him and pushed inside her. She wrapped her legs around him and dug her fingers into his back; surely drawing blood. With all the emotions she was feeling it was hard to keep her strength in check, she had to pull her mind back to the present to make sure she didn't hurt him too much.

Their bodies moved opposite each other, an awkward but pleasurable momentum between them. Tally couldn't help but think of Zane again, removing clothing had never been a game of tug and pull with him. He'd managed to do it all himself in swift quick motions. And sex had never just _begun_ with him either. There was always a lot of touches and kisses and giggles. But then, Zane had said himself that he spent a good amount of time in the pleasure gardens before Tally. David probably had less experience, if any, because of his life style.

She didn't feel anything in her head or heart but they and her body knew what they were doing. Her visit to the city had filled her entire being, her core, with all the guilt and loneliness that'd she felt ever since the war. It was getting rid of the bad for her, she didn't have to try… her body moved against David's, arched to his touch, shuddered under his lips. Her hands slid through his hair, her feet twisted around his calves, until he pulled her into a new position and she let him, he could do whatever he wanted.

And when it was all over she curled up next to him as the thunder shook the ground and the rain poured over the tent. He held her closely and buried his face in her hair, a contented and genuinely happy smile on his face.

**warning ends here**

* * *

Tally kissed him once more, she didn't want to hurt him but she knew exactly what he was thinking. That she'd still had feelings all along and just wasn't able to hold them in anymore, but he was terribly mistaken and she would never be able to tell him that the only reason she'd let herself be with him was because she couldn't let herself be alone with her thoughts of the only person she truly cared for.

When his breathing had slowed and his arm had fallen from her Tally crept from his body with her special reflexes. Using his supplies and the knowledge he'd taught her she wrote him a note and left it with his board. She packed her stuff up very silently and rode slowly away until she was far enough to go faster without worry. The rain was like bullets against her face, and she worried somewhere in the back of her head that she may be stuck by lighting what with being so high and having a metal skintenna but at the forefront of her thoughts were the real worries, the nagging worries. If she was ever going to do her job right she needed to get over what had happened, and if she was ever going to manage that she had to come to terms with what had happened and what she'd done. She had to get over him and the best place to start was the place that it had started.

Tally turned her board and, knowing that David would probably try to follow in the morning, headed as fast as she could in hopes he wouldn't be able to catch up… towards her home.

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Its the only way I'll know to keep updating!**

**I hope you enjoyed it! sorry if it got to be a bit much.**

**Chapter Three: Apparitions by Matthew Good Band  
**


	5. Apparitions

I know right? Long time... All of you probably thought this wasnt getting updated anymore. Nope sorry, not getting rid of me that easy. Im not going to bore you with the reasons why this is late so go read and enjoy!

And just between me and you? I have a feeling everyone is going to like the next chapter ;D

**Reminder: **All the titles are song names! They're there if you want to take a listen. Also, at the end I'll give you the song title of the next chapter so you may be able to get an idea of whats coming... it depends on how you interpret the song ;D

**Disclaimer: The Uglies world belongs to Scott Westerfeld. I'm not making any money off this, I'm writing it because the Specials ending didn't settle well with me!**

**Chapter Song: Apparitions by Matthew Good Band  
**

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! I only continue if i get reviews, even bad ones xD**

* * *

The rain had stopped, or rather she'd gotten away from the clouds, and she had gotten to watch the sun rise. Beautiful hues stretching to engulf her before the orb broke the horizon and its light spread across the tops of the trees. It had warmed Tally as she kept up her high speeds from her night of traveling.

The sun was overhead now, made bearable by broken clouds that drifted across it frequently, and had dried Tally completely of the rain from the previous night. As she rode taking in the landscape that surrounded her she wondered if David had woken yet and what he was feeling. Had he found her note yet? Or would he have assumed she just left for a bit and would be back shortly… she was tinged with even more guilt at the thought, but that was easily overridden by the fact that she would see him again.

She couldn't say the same of Zane.

Her arms circled her, an attempt to keep herself together and she pushed faster. It wouldn't take much longer. A few days tops at the speed she was going and she didn't need sleep.

* * * * *

It was hot, really really hot. David sat up and wiped his face of sweat before turning to see if Tally was okay. Of course somewhere in the back of his mind he knew she was but still felt the need to ask. Pushing his hair back his eyes automatically searched the small tent for her… but she wasn't there. He wondered briefly if last night had been a dream but it had felt so _real_ that there was no way it could've been. Pushing himself up quickly he exited the tent and looked around the tiny camp.

_All _of her things were gone… not just her hoverboard.

Exhaling slowly he let his eyes close. Last night had been a mistake… a huge one that had driven her away. His eyes snapped open however at another thought.

What had happened to her,_ in her_, that had led her actions? He had been so tired and then surprised that he hadn't even bothered to think about it…

"Stupid, David." He reprimanded himself with a smack to the forehead. After a frustrated sigh he began packing his own stuff. It would take him far longer to get wherever Tally had went and that was if he was right in assuming she went to Diego. He would have to follow the ocean to take some of the heat off and also because without Tally he wasn't safe from the wilderness.

Sure he could take care of himself but with her super reflexes and senses he had been more than safe. Once everything was ready to go he went to retrieve his board, his eyes narrowing at the torn piece of paper stuck between one of its lifters. Pulling it out he read the familiar scribbles easily. He had helped craft these scribbles.

_You did nothing wrong, I just need to get back for a bit. I know you wouldn't listen if I told you not to follow so I'll see you when you get there._

_Tally_

She had even drawn a little smile under her name, the two ll's acting like eyes. David folded the paper, slightly reassured by her words and put it in his pocket. At least she knew he'd be following her.

After another quick sweep around the area he climbed onto his board and rose into the air until he could see the city and the ocean beyond it. Deciding quickly that he would stop in the city for some supplies he angled towards it and took out his map.

If he followed the sea line it would take him almost directly to the rusty ruins near tallys old home, but he wouldn't need to go that far, Diego was further south but more inland.

It would be easy, but it would be long.

The ruins rose up in the distance to greet her like an old friend. The rollercoaster wasn't to far away from where she was but without the burden of needing metal to ride there was no reason not to go straight past it towards the city. But when she got close to the skeleton of the once massive metropolis she couldn't help but be drawn into its dusty street ways and empty vehicles.

She felt her breathing quicken as she rose to view the spot where she'd come back to find him after they'd been separated fleeing the city. The news that Maddy had delivered. Her muscles tensed just as they had on her way here when shed passed Diego, and she trembled as she had when she stopped on the rock ledge where she and Zane had shared their last kiss…

Sobs had racked her body so violently there that she'd had to stop for far to long. But she'd felt sort of cleansed when she'd gotten the strength to leave solidifying her resolve that this was the right thing to do.

She could see him perfectly in her mind, the way he'd been laying, the words being spoken around her when she'd seen him. He stood out in her memory like a ghost, an apparition. So vividly clear that it was no surprise she hadn't been able to get over him. She needed to let him go… and knowing that brought the sting of tears to her eyes as much as anything else.

Her special eyes found the observatory in the far distance outside the city, the large hole in the top exactly the same. Memories washed over her, the way Zanes breathing had been shallow, his eyes sunken into his head… Maddy emerging from behind her.

"_You just had to experiment didn't you Tally?"_

Tally's hand covered her face as she remembered the blame in her voice. To Maddy everything was Tally's fault, the destruction of her home, the death of her husband, the heartbreak of her son…

Tally would never be able to make amends with that woman and the guilt still ate at her. But that was another journey to take later, she needed to focus on the task at hand. A deep steadying breath and Tally continued slowly toward the city, every few moments something reminded her of him, the white caps on the water as it churned around rocks, the path of minerals they would take up into the ruins.

She stopped for a moment near the rapids and lay on the grass. The clouds floated by effortlessly and headed inland, towards her city. She and Zane had come here one late night before the cuffs and problems and counted stars. He'd gotten to some ridiculous number in the thousands and she'd accused him of cheating.

"_Haha! Tally how could I be cheating?" He laughed._

"_You're not counting the stars one by one! You're just counting fast because there are so many!" her bottom lip stuck out in a pout and her eyebrows drew together in fake anger as he continued to laugh finally opting to roll over and stare at the ground._

"_Tally!" he worked between fits, "that's silly, I wouldn't do that! I was merely counting all the stars in the constellations I knew would be out tonight." She whipped back around and propped herself up on her elbows,_

"_See! You _were_ cheating!" she giggled, "You're not supposed to lie we promis…" _

_Her words were cut off as Zane brought his face to hers and kissed her. _

"_I'll never lie to you." He said between kisses._

_They both laughed into it at first but it slowly grew into something more serious._

Tally opened her damp eyes and brought herself from the memory, she looked to her side and saw Zane there, laughing as he had that night. So carefree and happy at the time, no sign of headaches yet… just the two of them being happy and bubbly together, Tally less so than Zane but he had never seemed to mind.

After another moment she pulled herself up and got back on her board. As she neared the city she had an urge to check the feeds again, a part of her wanted to see if she could find his face again but another couldn't stand it if she did.

She could feel the slight buoyancy that the underground grid gave her board as she glided slowly over the greenbelt and towards uglyville. People playing in the fields pointed up towards her, no one could see her but that was probably a reason they were doing so, no one flew this high around here. It was just asking for trouble. But if anyone came out to confront Tally Youngblood theres no way they wouldn't immediately stop in their tracks. She was known extremely well here if not worldwide by now.

She looked across the river at the tall towers and mansions of New Pretty Town, finding spots in the pleasure gardens or mansions that had had awesome parties, areas on the lawns. Everywhere she and Zane had gone… which was pretty much all of the town.

Most of the pretties would probably be asleep at this time of day, they may have clear heads but the traditions of drinking and partying all night and sleeping all day was still a part of their culture.

Her eyes locked on her old mansion and Zanes, the two places she'd spent the most time. She wondered who was staying in them now and if they knew anything about the previous owners. Of course she hadn't known anything about them when she moved in… but her previous owner wasn't Tally Youngblood.

She decided to find out and nervously started up the city interface taking care to throw the feeds off the window. The dorm lists were easy to access and she looked up her room first. The lists told her that a girl named Gin now resided in her old room but that she was currently out on a lawn somewhere.

"Perfect." Tally murmured and headed directly for it. Hardly anyone was out and she knew the halls would be empty, the problem was she couldn't get up to her floor. The elevators required an interface ring to work. So she opted to do what she would've done in the old days; climb through the window.

She knew which window led to her room and she couldn't help but peep into others as she rode swiftly by. All the pretties were sleeping away their alcohol and hangovers. Stopping outside her window Tally quickly looked to see if the window was locked with her special interface software. It wasn't. A flick of her wrist opened it and she was inside powering down her hoverboard. She sat it against a desk and slowly took in her surroundings.

Everything was so different and yet painfully the same. It was arranged exactly how it had been before she left but the walls were different. Papers and trinkets hung to the wall, things Tally would've considered trash or had recycled, old shirts and video stills and lots of other things.

It had to be part of the mind rain, this clutter of useless things. Tally couldn't understand why someone would display it all on a wall. She turned to follow the other wall at the corner, her fingers brushing over more things strewn about the desk. They paused on a monitor displaying a group of pretties, all smiles and laughs. Zane had installed it for her, uploading all the digital photos he'd had taken of them. A slideshow of their happiness even though Tally hardly ever stayed in her room. Clenching her eyes she forced herself to move on, she would not break down in this strangers room.

Surprise found her, however, when she turned toward the bed and a pair a huge pretty eyes stared at her. They weren't frightened or timid, they looked at her in awe. Tally's eyebrows furrowed.

"You're Tally Youngblood." The girl said with certainty, "Everyone knows who you are."

Tally stayed silent giving her only a nod of her head. The girl spoke again after a few moments,

"But why are _you_ in _my_ room? Not that I mind." She tacked that last part on quickly and looked away a bit embarrassed. Tally sighed and took a seat in the desk chair.

"Why are _you_ in your room? Your interface ring is all the way on the west lawn."

Gin, she recalled her name, narrowed her eyes in suspicion but didn't ask how Tally knew these things.

"It's a game…" she spoke slowly, "Hide and seek of sorts. We have to hide our interface rings so no one can cheat. And I figured no one would suspect that I would hide in such an obvious place." She shrugged and blinked at Tally, raising her eyebrows in indication, "Your turn."

Tally rubbed her temples and sighed heavily.

"This used to be my room… I just needed to see it again."

Gin's eyes were wide as she absorbed the information. The girl was transparent to Tally, she could see the ideas this information was forming and Tally almost felt bad for Gin's friends who would have to endure the bragging… though they'd have to believe her first.

Tally stood, she was obviously not going to get anything done with this girl in her room so she might as well go see Zane's. Her throat constricted as she stood and lifted her board.

"I've got other business to attend to." And she threw herself out the window, Gin screaming for her to wait. The board powered before hitting the ground and she rose back up to her window to give the girl one last wave. And Tally wondered as she made her way slowly through the sky if she had already changed. Specials were built to provoke fear into others… that girl hadn't so much as flinched.

Tally gazed over at the roof of Pulcher Mansion, her brain remembering the layout underneath in perfect detail. She knew exactly where Zanes room was, where the elevator shaft was, how to navigate down the stairs that no one ever used… though she and Zane had hidden there when they wanted time alone but away from the confines of their rooms. She sighed and turned away, not ready to face it just yet.

Clouds were moving in from the sea and she could see the sheet of rain pouring from them. It was thick and heavy and she really didn't want to have to sleep out in it, not tonight. With a sigh she resigned to asking whomever now occupied Zanes old room to bunk with a friend for a while because the all the nights she'd traveled without sleep were weighing on her tenfold now, even though it was early afternoon, and the need for just the tiniest bit of comfort fueled her decision.

Steeling herself for the onslaught of emotions that were sure to assault her Tally brought the city interface back up along with the dorm lists as she made her way towards the right window, quickly shifting through the other dorms she found Zanes and scrolled to his room name just as she pulled up along side the window.

What she saw there took her breath away. It had to be wrong… it was impossible. Frantically she searched for a matching interface ring and immediately found it, it was inside the room.

_Zane_

Was it some sick form of irony that the new owner could have the same name? It was too improbable… Her mind fell to the only conclusion it wanted, it was still his room, his ring right on the other side of the glass. Somewhere in Tally's special mind she was ready to kill, if this were some sort of prank or joke someone would be paying dearly… but for one small fragment of a second Tally allowed herself to hope.

Small drops of rain landed on her face as she unlocked and opened the window, her board was off and against the wall as she closed it back and exhaled the breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. Fear and anxiety kept her from turning away from the window. She watched as the clouds took over and the rain fell in buckets and let her mind go blissfully blank. The rhythm of the rain made it easy to forget everything… but she needed to know why someone named Zane was in the room. Logic told her it couldn't be him, not only for the obvious reasons but because _he_ would've said something by now.

But Tally had allowed herself to hope, and even that smallest of increments, when she finally turned from the window and let her eyes rest on a room that hadn't changed since she'd last seen it, that tiny bit of hope shattered hot and burning and ripping her into pieces.

Tally fell to her knees, her arms gripping painfully across her chest in an attempt to keep herself together, the sobs built until she didn't even recognize the sounds coming from her throat. They escalated to a high primal keening until she couldn't keep them in anymore.

And finally, _finally_, she was able to define the pain she felt with her voice.

Thrusting herself from the ground Tally grabbed the ring from the bedside table and put it on. She took a pillow and some shirts, anything within grabbing distance, and shoved them into her bag. Her special ears could hear the pretties scurrying towards the door, worried to open it, scared to find out what was making such sorrowful wounded noises. They would call the wardens, they wouldn't investigate themselves.

Taking a moment to calm herself Tally sat on the bed and idly rubbed circles on the sheets, memories flashed behind her closed lids faster and faster until she felt she might drown.

_Drown._ She thought and walked back towards to window. The downpour was so thick that even she couldn't see very far in front of her… all the better, she didn't want to go to any particular place, but she needed to get out of his room before she was in trouble… or went insane.

The rain washed away her tears and made the cuts on her sides from her fingernails sting slightly, she welcomed the pain. Without turning on her board Tally jumped from the window, the feeling of impact deserved. Her bones vibrated but didn't break, couldn't, but she could feel the ache of her muscles in protest.

She had no idea how long she stood, face turned toward the sky, when she finally looked back down at the ring on her finger and the process began anew. All she could scream was his name, all she think was how much she loved you. She moved forward with no sense of direction and watched the blood run down her arm as her fingernails cut into her palms.

It had to have been hours, her throat was raw, her eyes were sore, her hands were throbbing and she was exhausted. Tally collapsed, no energy left in her for anything other than to murmur his name. Her eyes focused and unfocused on a blade of grass and how the heavy rain made it bend.

What seemed like an eternity later Tally opened her eyes to the sound of her name. The rain was just as thick and she couldn't even be sure that she'd heard it. She faded in and out of consciousness, having found the limits she could push herself to, but still she heard her name.

She could see the silhouette running towards her, hear the pounding feet and her name, her _name_. In the most perfect voice she'd ever heard. It was worried and frantic and relieved and she felt a hand slide over her cheek. Warm and large and the connection was instant. With the last of her strength she pried her eyes open but the rain made it impossible to keep them open. She could only make out dripping dark hair and the outline of a face… but it didn't matter, the fire against her cheek was from more than body heart.

Tally sighed and leaned into them letting her eyes close and using her last conscious breath to say what she'd been saying for hours, only in a drastically different way, full of love and hope and contentment. Tally's hand found the one on her cheek and she smiled,

"Zane…"

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**HEH? HEH? Anyone excited for the next chapter? I am, its the whole reason I've been writing this story muahahaha~**

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**Chapter 4: Better Days by The Goo Goo Dolls**


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